Young moms have asked, “how do you do it all?” In today’s world, it’s extremely hard to find peace in parenting. Around every corner, we are told how to parent, what millions of things our kids need, what our homes should look like, and that it must look good while we do it all. 

In my household, healthy nutrition is a priority, we educate at home, have a small business while my husband works full-time, we love our people well, and our faith is strong. It is hard to keep up most weeks. So here’s my secret that I share and believe not enough moms know about: You cannot do it all. You should not do it all. 

So what? Do we simply succumb to the pressure of parenting and slump into the mountains of mess we aren’t able to conquer? Not so! I do believe it takes a village to raise your children, but it doesn’t have to look the way we are told to make it look. I have developed a process over the years to help me think through what my family needs are and how to get help filling in the gaps. 

Assess

Begin by asking yourself, “What are the biggest tension areas in our home? What areas am I not able to get to? Is there anything that I might be able to take off my plate entirely?”

These are not questions I can answer for you. These will be unique to each household, like: 

“During my last pregnancy, it was really hard to keep the house clean. When the house is clean, it feels more peaceful. I’m noticing it’s getting harder to keep things clean again during this pregnancy.”

“We are never home. The kids feel unsettled with a lack of routine and all the running around to multiple sports practices.”

“It’s been very easy to order take out instead of healthy homemade meals lately. Our budget is taking a big hit from it.” 

Plan

Once you know the tension points, you can begin to see how you might find solutions that fit your house best. 

Theorize the ideal solutions that might fit for you. At this stage, you aren’t making any commitments, so go to the full extent of your daydream solution. 

Solutions and Simplifying

Now review your solutions. What are true, realistic ways you can problem solve? Maybe it doesn’t fit in the budget to have a professional cleaner come weekly, but having the house cleaned monthly will give you a boost to keep up on it the rest of the month. 

Sometimes, the answer is not a fix but an elimination. I like to call it pruning. Is there a point of tension that is really bringing the whole family down? Is that point bringing any fruit or goodness to your household? It may be time to let go of that thing for a while to see how it affects your family’s routines. Simplifying the house or schedule can create life in the home. Often we simply need to be brave enough to let go of the old ways to make room for that new life. 

But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. 1 Timothy 2:15

Guest Blogger | Rebekah Burghardt

Rebekah is a stay-at-home mom of four with a desire to keep her family ‘well-fed’ and believes that some of the best time spent is time together around a table.